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Oh shit I destroyed my post!!! DAMN YOU FLIPTEXT.ORG!!!
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Go ahead and spam here all you like.
By the way, I didn't make OBEY++++. If you'd look at the damn credits you'd see KemCab is the primary author, not me. Stop reviewing it like it's MY Flash. I only provided voice clips for it.
EDIT: 2/26/08- If you can scroll down this whole page of comments using JUST the arrow buttons on the side, no mouse wheel or slider bar or keyboard press or any other trick... you should get a life.
It got blammed, and I can't even see the reviews.
Anybody got a link? I'm talking about Adventures in Tweenland! by the way.
I GUESS I JUST SUCK AT FLASH AND AM BETTER AT WEBCAM. Like Gary Brolsma.
It's what I expected.
Vote 5 on all my Flash.
WAO, FRONT PAGE POSTING ACCESS GRANTED.
This is amazing! I've DREAMED of this moment! NOW I NEED TO FINISH HALLWAYS: CHAPTER FIVE!! THE PUBLICITY!!
In case you don't know Hallways, see my first post and read along. It's a neat little sci-fi story about an average teenage boy put into government testing on thought control. If you don't like JEM!, I'm fairly sure you WILL like that.
Oh yes I did it yet again, IN FULL LIVE ACTION.
I'm plucky like that.
You love it. You've seen it! AND IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, DO SO NOW PLEASE.
It's me, in FREEZEPOP'S JEM!!!
(this is even important enough to interrupt my awesome story. it's that cool.)
Oh, if you don't love it, nobody credits your shitty reasons why!
UPDATE: I've been working on cleaning out the spam here. I banned a particularly annoying Rummy0, but have not cleared out all of his crap.
Ahhh... it's taking longer and longer for me to write these chapters. It's HARD to continue this plotline! I already have the crux of the story thought out, but I keep THINKING, how can I change it? How can I make it better? Most importantly, how should I write it?
Just know this story has an ending, and will come soon... (maybe by February). But this is not the end.
Be sure to comment, and comment relevantly! Please try to put a little thought into how you want to respond, and make it meaningful and unique! If you want to comment NEGATIVELY, don't be a flaming jerk and please explain WHY you criticize it. The comments are meant to interact with the world and influence my writing, so use them well!
This chapter is dedicated to the moderators of the General forum, particularly Zerok. The rules he states on his page are MOSTLY reasonable, but I can't wrap my head around the story thread ban. WHY CAN'T I SPREAD MY STORY FARTHER THAN THIS USERPAGE? I want to get all the traffic of the BBS! Oh well. Besides, most people abuse it and write stories about sex or something retarded.
NEW READERS, please do read the preceding chapters in order. It is absolutely necessary for you to read Chapter One, then Chapter Two, then Chapter Three, then this one. Click the button on the bottom of this post that reads 'All News Posts'.
OF COURSE, DO NOT COPY THIS STORY ANYWHERE. UNLIKE CHARLIE THE UNICORN AND NUMA NUMA, I WANT SOMETHING AWESOME TO STAY HERE ON NEWGROUNDS. PLAGIARISM SUCKS.
So here we go again... down the Hallways...
Andrew Werdna woke up. Yet for a change, he stayed in bed. Was it a dream he had had? Was there really a spirit that had come to rescue him? Why was there a bruise that ached ever so slightly on the back of his head?
The blanket retracted from over him into the foot of the bed. He got out of his bed, opened his bedroom door, walked into the hallway, closed his bedroom door, and stopped.
There was a five-way split he was standing in the middle of. He didn't know which way to go. Each hallway was identical and continuous. He turned towards the door, heard a mechanical CRANK, and watched the door move behind a wall section. His room was gone.
He could only choose to pick one random exit and go along it. So he ascended and descended stairs, climbed and lowered up and down ladders, opened and closed doors, and walked back and forth through the hallways.
Andrew was aware for the first time, so it felt, of the elaborate and expansive series of corridors. Everything was black and white. The doors and ladders were black, everything else white. There were no reflective surfaces, and the light seemed to glow out of the walls, ceilings, and floors.
He could faintly hear his own body movements. The pattering of his feet, the whisper of his breath. The doors creaked and the ladders rattled. It was not a soundproof world.
Something troubled him about the- dream, was it? he had last night. There was something in the man's eyes, something that glistened, sparkled. It was so familiar... he could put a name to it if only he remembered. The hallways didn't have it, he knew.
Never retracing his steps but hesitating often, Andrew reached the Origin Room. The project leader quickly smacked the DROP button and the floor opened up, pulling Andrew through as had been done thousands of times before. Pressing his hands against the control console, he gruffly stated,
"Well, he got through the damned thing. I was worried I put him to sleep to forcefully, might've jogged the digits in his brain. But we were right, he was right, success!"
"What do we need now?" the assistant implored.
"Time. More time. Right now I assume his conscience hasn't yet fully awakened, therefore hasn't roused any unpredictability. We just need to wait, watch, gather data, compute it, change things, repeat cycle. Speed, gait, air temperature, light settings, door resistance, slope, length, EVERY SINGLE MINIMAL ASPECT IS CRUCIAL! Very little can be determined until we create the ideal environment! Then we must simplify it all down to analyzing his thought as he's awake! Maybe, just maybe, in future generations our research could be expounded upon and put to practical use, all for the GLORY... of these United States of America!"
Frantically searing, he shoved off the console and screamed with ferocity,
"THESE GOD-FORSAKEN, FILTH-RIDDEN, DIVIDED TERRITORIES OF NORTH AMERICA!!"
The assistant now knew just how long he'd be here.
To be continued...
HALLWAYS CONTINUES!!! After all the praise I've gotten from Chapters One and Two, you can be damned sure this is going to stay awesome! The storyline is all planned out in my head, but I'm writing it on paper to ensure perfection.
Any advertisement is GLADLY appreciated! Signature links would be great! Be sure to keep reading and commenting, I have lots of time to respond to it all! PM's also accepted!
OF COURSE, DO NOT COPY THIS STORY ANYWHERE. PLAGIARISM SUCKS.
IMPORTANT: FOR ALL NEW READERS, DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER YET. Click the button on the bottom that reads 'All News Posts' and read them sequencially. This is a continuous storyline.
Here it is...
Andrew Werdna woke up. He got out of his bed, opened his bedroom door, walked into the hallway, closed his bedroom door, walked down the hallway, and stopped.
He was in a room with no doors, no passageways. This was the first dead-end ever in the maze. Where he was going to go, supposed to go, was a solid white wall.
He stood fixated on the wall, emotionless. Footsteps he couldn't hear approached him. A hand was laid on his shoulder.
This touch, this contact, this other living form surged through Andrew. He broke out of the labyrinth and flew around his life. Feelings came back to him, memories, experiences, pain, love, and hearing. That touch, the interruption of everything that was part of the never-ending enclosure cycle, the white hallways leading to where he always was, up woke Andrew Werdna.
What also came was the terror of the past transition into infinity. How he had been selected out of a computer system for his average mental and physical capabilities, his lack of family connections, and his anonymity, particularly due to his palindromic name. How they took him and performed extensive physical testing on him, then halted his body growth through injections and hacked off his genitalia. Then they dropped him into the maze, and there he was ever since.
Displaying a look of shock mixed with fear, he turned to face the man. He was about one foot taller than him, and smiled down on Andrew. Unlike Andrew, who now realized he was naked, the man was sharply dressed. He wore a white vest, pale slacks, and shiny black shoes. His dark brown hair was radiant and matted down handsomely. Andrew was bald. The man's green eyes looked deep into his own blue ones.
After a time for Andrew to regain organization of thought, the man spoke down to Andrew like an angel,
"I've come to release you, Andrew Werdna."
Andrew felt like he had heard this voice very many times before, as though it were in his dreams each night. The man held out his hand and Andrew grasped it tightly, as though he might disappear otherwise. The man lead him back towards the door, and showed him a path he hadn't seen. Andrew could see everything now. But the man was guiding him through every correct door.
Andrew and the project leader walked down the hallways together.
To be continued...
Here it is! After only two days, the next chapter! If you haven't read the first chapter of Hallways, do so now. It will make little sense otherwise. And this time, as paragraph spacing seems to not work, I will put neat empty lines between paragraphs. ANY HELPFUL ADVICE ON IMPROVING IT IS GLADLY APPRECIATED. Enjoy.
And AGAIN, read chapter one first. There's a button on the bottom that says 'All News Posts'.
Andrew Werdna woke up. He got out of his bed, opened his bedroom door, walked into the hallway, closed his bedroom door, walked down the hallway, and reached a junction leading to the left and right. He turned right, went down that hallway, and came to a wall with seven ladders across it. He climbed up the third ladder from the left and went up a staircase. The floor leveled out and presented him with an eight-way junction. He kept moving forward and through a corridor, opened a door...
Never in this did he change his pace, and he didn't consider any other pathway. Despite all the countless misleading doors, hallways, ladders, and staircases, only the correct ones were chosen.
Finally he reached the room with the four order black painted walls white. He fell through the floor and was prepared again. Two men watched the monitor, one shocked and one sullen.
"AMAZING! Over a thousand dead ends yet he maneuvers through it PERFECTLY!"
"We already knew every step he was going to take. He plays out a random movement sequence mentally as he rests. Probably dreaming it. We record that, and recreate his patterns into the maze. Where the sequence ends is where we place the Origin Room. Every other room he may erroneously walk into, at least by our calculations, will shoot a needle into his chest, I aim it, that paralyzes his body and regresses his brain to an earlier state so we can determine what went wrong or adjust our scanning shell. Each time that happens the complexity of his run-through increases significantly. He hasn't been wrong for quite a while now, so we may be at our peak."
"So you essentially read his mind and test how you believe he'll move?"
"Exactly. Along these lines are endless possibilities. We could read people's intentions, plot out their actions, know everything they know. We're using Andrew to research absolute thought control. The government would be infallible."
"Is this the end, now that your conclusions are invariably correct?"
"No." He sighed. "This is only the first step. He's doing this all subconsciously. It is only the infinite repetition and my recorded voice urging him forwards as he sleeps that keeps our results consistent. What we need to do now is make him realize he's in a maze consciously. The question is that if he knows and understands his predicament, will we still be able to be ahead of his thought?"
"How do you, er-we..." He was recently assigned to assist the other man with the experiment, and he noticed he seemed to prefer the term 'we'. "How do we accomplish this?"
The project leader smirked and said,
"I'm going into his little world."
To be continued...
This is the first chapter of my science-fiction story 'Hallways', and right now the only one I've written. I figured it would be neat to post it on Newgrounds, with some minor changes, to see the reaction. If it's positive, WELL! I'll just have to write another chapter and put it on here.
EDIT: After submitting Hallways: Chapter Two, I decided to clean this one up. Now the paragraphs look tidier.
NOTE: The author's name here is Ackris Larkiln. That is because it is my pen name, and I don't feel like changing it for here should I ever become famous under it. I hope you enjoy!
by Ackris Larkiln
Andrew Werdna woke up. He got out of his bed, opened his bedroom door, walked into the hallway, closed his bedroom door, walked down the hallway past several doors, turned left at a corner, walked down that hallway past several more doors, climbed a ladder at the end, opened a door in front of him, and stepped inside.
He was in a room. The room had words painted. The words in the room were painted on the walls. The room had four walls with the words. The walls were white on the black words. The words were black on the white walls. The words were in order. The words would be read.
Andrew wearily wread the words on the walls. They wread:
YOU ARE IN A ROOM WITH FOUR WHITE WALLS WITH BLACK WORDS PAINTED ON THEM TO BE READ IN ORDER.
COME BACK HERE TOMORROW.
After reading this, the floor opened up and Andrew fell through. Fans kept him in the air from below until a pressurized tube focused on him and sucked him all the way back to the ceiling of his room where he landed on the bed.
The bed rose and fell to adjust Andrew's body into a sleeping position he evidently preferred. A thick comforter slid over him from the foot of the bed. Glass barriers were raised to contain him.
When Andrew was asleep, his body was scanned over by robotic appendages extending from the sides of the bed to check for physical irregularities. If any were present, measures would be taken to eliminate them. A shell was placed on his forehead to monitor his thought frequencies. Following a pattern in this, the hallways moved outside the room into a new configuration. If Andrew were to arrive at the same room again the next time, their prediction would be correct and the experiment would continue. If not, they would adjust the programming of the shell or look into other possible variables affecting his thought.
This had been continuing indefinately without error. Tubes were stuck into his arms to supply him with necessary nourishment, and his urine and internal waste products were collected. He had long since been castrated to preserve his body at its boyish state. Andrew had lost all recall of any of his past, and could not think consciously.
The driving factor in all this was a soft male voice repeating in his room as he slept,
YOU ARE IN A MAZE, ANDREW WERDNA.
GET OUT, GET OUT.
To be continued...